Confessions

I have a confession to make.

I used to cringe when I would walk into someone's house and see toys scattered all around the floor.
I used to think to myself "Does that this mother/father ever pick up after their children? I mean seriously?"

My confession:

I am now one of those parents.

My floor is ALWAYS scattered with toys.
Jordan or I will pick them up every night after we put him in the bed....
But as soon as he is up, he goes straight to the basket of toys and pulls every single one out of the basket.
I guess there have been a lot of changes over the past year.
There are A LOT of things that change when you have children.
Your house.
Your car.
Your schedule.
Your method of raising children.
and most importantly YOURSELF.

This past year have been very eye opening and exciting for me.
It's hard for me to believe that it has been a year since R was born. (Or will be Friday)
Today marks the one year anniversary of the day they induced me in the hospital.
I remember that day and the days to follow so very well.
They will be the days I will always remember and cherish.

My advice to mothers expecting for the first time:
You never know how labor and delivery will go, but once you hold that sweet, healthy baby in your arms- NOTHING else matters.

I remember well the days of cuddling all day with Robert.
I would hold him ALL THE TIME.
I remember thinking to myself that "I need to put him down so he will gain some independence. "
(By the time he was about 5-6 months old I went through a 2 month long battle of putting him down and him screaming because he wanted to be held)
I still wouldn't change one single second of those days when I would hold him all day long.
I will always cherish those moments.
I miss them even now.

R is always on the go.
He's been trying to grow up too fast since the day he was born.
He's now walking and crawling so well.
He's more independent now than I was ever prepared for.
He is so wonderful and I thank God every single day for allowing me to be his mother.

I also pray for help being his mother.
This past year has really been an eye opener for me personally.
I have evaluated myself in a way I guess I've never really taken the time to do.
It's been a terrifying responsibility to know that I/we are responsible for raising this child "in the way he should go".
I have evaluated the way I need to go so that I can show R by example the way he needs to go.

This past year has made me more aware of the language I use in everyday.
I've never been one to use what the world would call "foul" language.
But, I realize there are some awful words that can come out of a child's mouth that their own Christian parents say every day without realizing it.
I cringe when someone says anything on this list of words that are off limits.
I've even had to ask many people not to say them in front of my child. Too often, I have kept silent on the matter... but I will no longer.

I have also become more aware of the content of what I am saying in front of, or around my child.
My mouth seems to always be getting me in trouble, and it's something I will continually be working on.
I still to this day speak before I think far too often.
I regret this more than anyone can really know.
It's something I pray about daily and something I know I must work on for R.
I want him to hear me encouraging and praising those around me daily.

I have a hard time giving/receiving compliments.
I still have not figured out why.
There are so many things I think that would compliment someone,but I keep to myself.
This is going to have to change.
I want to compliment and tell those around me what they mean to me.
I have been so encouraged by MANY sweet brothers and sisters in Christ at Villa Rica.
They are always encouraging me with their sweet words, when I am so unworthy.
I want my child to encourage and edify with his words, and he must learn from example!
"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." -1 Thessalonians 5:11

There are so many things about myself that I will continually be working on to become/be the Christian mother that I need to be.
I need the prayers of those around me that I can stay focused and to do what the Lord would have me to do.

I have so many wonderful examples to look up to at the Church at Villa Rica.
I have many wonderful examples in my own family that I will always be grateful for.
My parents are truly the greatest parents there have ever been. Hands down.
I thank God every day for the WONDERFUL Christian father, and for the sweet Christian mother I have been blessed with.
They help me every single day.
I can't think of one single time I have been around my father and he hasn't said something encouraging to me. Something as simple as "I'm proud of you" or "I love you."
I don't know if he will ever understand the impact those words have on me. But I thank God everyday for his sweet kind words. I thank God for the friendship I have with my Daddy. I am able to talk to him openly and tell him anything and I know he will give me advice that is Biblically sound. He encourages me and helps me in my Christian walk daily. I love him so much.
I will never be half the parent my parents are to me.
I am so blessed to have Godly parents to aspire to be like.

There are so many more people I could tell you that have encouraged me and made me want to be a better person. I can't name them all because I don't have the time to type it, and you don't have the time/want to read it.
But I do thank God for their encouragement every single day.

I look forward to this weekend and to R's first birthday.
If you've made it reading this blog this far, then keep a look out for pictures after this weekend :)
I hope everyone has a blessed day and thanks for reading all these random ramblings.

^"Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.^"  Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,  casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.  Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.  Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen." -1 Peter 5:5-11