Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Paul's birth story

It's a beautiful, wonderful day outside today.
So, as my children are both napping I felt compelled to sit down outside with my laptop and get out Paul's birth story... Finally.
It's only almost 15 months later.... but here it goes.

I wrote out my birth story with Robert shortly after he was born.
Paul's birth story is different.
I don't read many 'birth stories' of second c-sections, or "planned c-sections."
Since I've gotten pregnant with this new baby, it's weighed heavily on my heart and mind.

First off, I had a 'fairly' easy recovery with my c-section with Robert.
Other than my incision re-opening at 4 weeks post-partum and having to treat that daily, it was a pretty good recovery. I was ecstatic over my sweet baby boy and even major surgery couldn't bring me down...

This Birth Story has a lot more to do with my pregnancy than with the actual "birth." So, bear with me.

Fast forward to Robert's first birthday and we had just found out we were expecting again.
We were excited, and I was oh so nervous.
I had already made the decision to leave my OB practice I had with Robert in search of a better practice.
I switched to an all-women OB practice and hoped for the best.
At my second "official" appointment with them I met with one of the doctors in the practice.
She was rude and did not listen well.
I had done a little research (not as much as I needed to) and wanted to question the doctor about the possibility of me having a VBAC.
I mentioned this to her, and I've never had such a rude response from a doctor in all my life.
She told me that if I had to have a c-section with my first baby, there was no way I would ever be able to have a baby naturally. She said it was "stupid to try" and that if I wanted to go that route I would have to find a different practice because they only did repeat c-sections.
That ended my dealings with that practice.
So, I did some calling around to all the doctors I could find in my area.
I finally called the one OB doctor that delivers at the hospital closest to me, and found out that they were "supportive of VBACs."
My very first appointment with this doctor was with the doctor who had been in practice the longest.
He told me they had "pretty good success with VBACs" and didn't see why I wouldn't be able to do it myself. Then, he proceeded to tell me the "conditions" I would have to meet to even be able to "let me try for a VBAC."
1. They couldn't induce me, I would have to go into labor on my own.
2. I could not attempt a VBAC after my due date and that they would schedule a c-section on my due date.
3. Baby couldn't weigh over 9lbs and I believe 6 or so oz.

With this knowledge, I stayed with this practice in hopes of having a VBAC.
I was hoping for a quick and easy recovery, and I wanted to be able to have a house full of children.

Fast forward to my 38 week appointment.
I was having some issues with  my blood pressure being elevated, so we did a 24 hour urine test that came back negative. Things were still looking good for me.
I saw the midwife at this appointment and she told me that I wasn't dilated much, but that my "cervix was favorable for labor."

Two days after my appointment (on Thursday) I had an ultrasound scheduled with the specialist.
I went into this appointment and had high blood pressure... again.
They did the ultrasound and told me that baby was measuring to be 9lbs and 1oz.
I met with the specialist, and I told him my want for a VBAC.
He jumped all over me and told me how "not smart" it was, and that all he cared about was a healthy  mother and I needed a repeat c-section.
He then looked at my blood pressure and called my OB while we were still in the office.
He told me the baby needed to come out before the weekend.
On our way home, I got the call from my OB's office that they were going to do the c-section first thing in the morning. I needed to have my pre-op done in a few hours and I would be having the surgery first thing in the morning.
At this point in my pregnancy, I was tired and of course ready to meet my baby.
I remember at first hearing that I was going to meet Paul in the morning feeling very excited.
I was finally going to have him in my arms.
As the day progressed and I realized what was going to be happening in the morning, my anxiety started to build.
I started to get very anxious and nervous about the surgery and the recovery.
After all, I wanted a VBAC! Right?......
After sleeping more than I expected to, we left early in the morning for surgery.
We arrived at the surgery center and I immediately started looking for my parents, and couldn't find them anywhere....
My father-in-law was with us and my MIL was at my house with Robert letting him sleep.
I had this anxious feeling and wanted to see my parents comforting faces there with me.
We signed in at the desk, and within moments they came to take me back for prepping for the surgery.
I went alone while my husband and FIL waited in the waiting room.
I was weighed, shaved, and had a catheter inserted all in a tiny room... by myself.
I will never forget how lonely that room felt.
I was so nervous and anxious. I needed a familiar face, a familiar smile...
The nurse had me prepped and told me she was going to send for my family....
I waited.... and waited.....
After about 20 minutes she came back to my room and wanted to know where my family was...
She called them again...
This time they came.
My husband, mother, father, and brother all came and crowded me in this tiny room.
I was so grateful for the company.
Time for surgery was getting so close.
It was even worse because I knew when my family left, they would be rolling me back for surgery.
Time seemed to fly while they were in there making jokes and trying to make me feel comfortable.
My father had even convinced one of the nurses to give him a "surgery suit." (He bribed her with doughnuts) I will never forget him walking in there all covered like he was going to be going into the surgery with me.
I was starting to feel nauseated because of the anxiety I was feeling.
When I had a c-section before, it was a relief from the pain of labor... This time I KNEW what lie ahead...
So, we said a prayer and they wheeled me back.
They put me on this small metal ironing board like table and had me lean over to insert the spinal medicine.
I leaned over and he stuck me.. It hurt so BAD! I don't remember this pain! Before I barely felt a pinch and I was having to lie down quickly.
I'm not sure how many times he stuck me... but every time was excruciating.
Finally after several attempts and me sobbing in pain he went and got a second spinal kit.
This one took after 3 sticks.
I was sure when I went to lie down that I was going to be paralyzed and never walk again.
I laid down on this tiny surgical table and they strapped my arms down to the table....
It didn't take long for the medicine to take effect and it numbed me up high in my chest.
It was just a few minutes before I felt as though I couldn't breathe.
I remember the nurse bringing the oxygen mask and putting it on my face.
Shortly after this, they brought my husband in.
I remember the look on his sweet face....
We knew it wouldn't be long before we would meet our baby.
I started to feel very light-headed and I was almost sure I was going to die on that table.
In just a few minutes they showed us our baby boy.
I opened my eyes just long enough to see him pee on the bed they had him in and long enough to kiss his face and take our first "family" picture.
Before they had even rolled him out of the operating room I had my eyes closed.
I remember they were listening to some kind of pop music on the radio and talking about something they had for lunch... or dinner... or breakfast...
I closed my eyes and said a prayer because I knew that this was going to be the end of my life.
I would never hold my new baby and my children would grow up without a mother.
After the longest 45 minutes or so of my life... They wheeled me into recovery.
By the time I made it here I was starting to wake up.
I met the nicest two women in the world and was able to move my feet already!
This was an accomplishment.
They told me I was doing well and was ready to go upstairs to meet my baby within minutes... But hospital policy stated that I had to be in recovery for at least 30 minutes.
While in recovery, I had them call the nursery I wanted to know what my "big baby" actually weighed. He was only 8lbs 6oz...
After 25 minutes passed, one of the sweet nurses told me "I already called for them to come get you, even though I wasn't supposed to and they will be here any second. Congratulations on your new baby and I hope you get well very soon."
My anticipation was through the roof! I was finally going to see my baby!!
This part is still a little blurry to me... But I remember being wheeled to my room and wanting to hold my baby right away.
I know it felt like an ETERNITY before they ever brought him in.
I was anxious to hold him and to finally establish breastfeeding.
They finally put him in my arms, and I remember as soon as they did I guess I started to relax and I felt..... sooooo... tired.....
At that moment all I wanted to do was go to sleep...
I remember a blur of family and friends coming in and out that day and just wanting to close my eyes and rest.
I was in more pain than I remember before, but I wanted to get out of that bed and walk around.
All day I asked to get up, and the nurses wouldn't let me.
Finally, the night nurse came in and removed my catheter and let me go to the bathroom. It was so PAINFUL just getting out of the bed.
I knew getting up and walking was the only way to feel better, but it seemed so much harder than the first time....

I wish I had known then what I know now.
All births are different, as are all surgeries....
I had months of pain from that surgery, and it was awful.
The awful recovery has led me to want to try for a VBA2C.
I'm planning to switch to a doctor that has a very good success rate with VBACs who delivers in Atlanta.
I want to try to have this baby naturally.
If I have another c-section that is NECESSARY, I will know that I did everything in my power to prevent it and that the health of my baby is what really matters.
I love Paul with everything in me, and I wouldn't trade anything in the world for his sweet smile.
I just wish we could have at least been able to attempt to let him come naturally and on his own time.
I think it would have helped me to bond with him early on....
He is here, and we are both healthy... and that is what truly matters.
I am praying for the Lord's will to be done and that we will have a healthy baby in a few months. No matter how they enter the world.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Can't believe it.

I cannot believe how long it has been since I have blogged.
Almost 3 whole months!!
I have missed blogging.

I'm sure if you are reading this, you probably already know that we are going to be adding a new addition to our family in 5 1/2 months.
We found out last week that we are going to be adding a baby GIRL to our family.
I am still in shock, but so excited!
It's going to be a new experience having a little girl.
After two boys, I had almost given up hope of ever having a girl.
Robert is excited to have a baby sister.
I don't believe anyone is more excited than my sweet husband.
He has always wanted a girl, and I think that he had kind of given up on the dream a little too.
We are so blessed that the Lord has answered our prayers for a new baby and for a little girl.

All this pregnancy and excitement over a new baby have kept me from blogging.
I also just haven't been motivated to do much of ANYTHING these days.
It takes a lot of effort to get myself out of bed and keep the kids clean, fed, and somewhat happy.
My husband has been so sweet in helping me to keep the house clean and helping with the boys when he is home.
He is seriously the best laundry folder ever!
We are a few weeks into the second trimester, and I'm still waiting for that burst of ENERGY that everyone tells me will come.
I am so thankful to be pregnant and that with the exception of a little morning sickness and heartburn I have no real issues when I am pregnant.
I just lack the energy and motivation to do what needs to be done.

I miss all things homemaking and keeping my house clean.
I miss cooking homemade meals for my family on a regular basis (as does our bank account).

I have just started this week to get a little bit of my motivation for organization and cleaning back.
Now we have lots of planning to do for a new nursery, and it is so EXCITING!

Well, the boys are up now and I must get going about my day.
I'm hoping to make a new yarn wreath for my front door today!
Hope everyone has a blessed day!

Until next time,

Monday, May 19, 2014

Happy Homemaker Monday

As I look outside my window:::
It is cloudy outside. The sun does not appear to be making an appearance right now.

Right now I am:::
Watching the boys play with Paul's new birthday toys.

Thinking and pondering::: 
How I need to be more positive. I can easily think positively, but more easily than that I can allow negative thoughts to take over my mind. It affects my family when I am negative, and I want to be more positive.

On my bedside table:::
I found my cracked iPod. It's charging on my bedside table. I'm excited to see that it still works.
Listening to:::
Robert talking on the phone.

On the menu for this week::: 
Healthy meals! I'm trying to eat more healthy, so I want to make healthy meals and enjoy some healthy snacks.

On my to do list:::
Fold and put away laundry. (Hubby was so sweet and has done the biggest portion of it. I don't know what I would do without him!)
Clean our bedroom.
Clean up and organize the basement.
Happening this week:::
 A lot of cleaning
Paul has his 1 year well-check at the doctor tomorrow.

What I am sewing, crocheting, knitting or creating:::
I have a lot of work to do on our family 2014 Project life album.

My simple pleasure:::
Cuddling with my sweet boys. They are so active, and it is so sweet when they let me cuddle them.
 Homemaking tips:::
Do something every day. I find that if I do some kind of home keeping task daily, it makes things easier. Some days it is just overwhelming thinking of all the things I need to do (TODAY!).  I need to remember that doing any one thing is better than doing nothing.

Looking around the house:::
I  can actually see the floor. Major improvement! I was able to vacuum the living room and hallway today. I've been tired and overwhelmed this past week. Now that Paul's birthday party has passed I can finally get some work done around here!

From the camera:::

I just can't believe my sweet baby boy is now 1 year old.

Bible verse, Devotional:::  
"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."
-Titus 2:3-4

Monday, May 12, 2014

Happy Homemaker #3

As I look outside my window:::
I am reminded that it is very hot outside. It is beautiful, but it is 83 degrees. What happened to Spring?!?!

Right now I am:::
Resting from cleaning all morning. We just got back from Vacation and my house is a DISASTER area. I finished Paul's room and have been continually working here and there on the others.

Thinking and pondering::: 
How nice our vacation was. I really needed the rest and relaxation. It helped me to come home and feel rejuvenated and ready to tackle my everyday homemaking duties. It's wonderful to step away from my homemaking work and come back with a new, positive attitude!

On my bedside table:::
There isn't much on there. I've been trying to get my house cleaned up so I can work on some other things. I need to be cleaning now, so I can get to some weekly meal planning and such.
Listening to:::
The window unit air-conditioner. Also, Robert playing in his room. I've been trying for 2 hours to get him to take a nap. I hear things falling to the floor in his room.

On the menu for this week:::
I have no idea. I need to do my meal planning. We have leftovers from where I cooked lunch yesterday for Mother's day. Those are going to last us for a couple of lunches. Then I need to figure out what I am going to make for dinner. One night we will have breakfast food since I already have the ingredients for homemade biscuits, eggs, and some bacon.

On my to do list:::
Finish cleaning the living room and kitchen (TODAY)
Work on Paul's baby album and finish it before Saturday.
Bake brownies for Paul's birthday party.
Clean our bedroom.
Clean up and organize the basement.
Happening this week:::
 A lot of cleaning, planning, and organizing!

What I am sewing, crocheting, knitting or creating:::
I am going to be working on Paul's baby album and work on our family 2014 Project life album.

My simple pleasure:::
Being home with my family. I really enjoyed being at the beach. There is just something about the feeling of being home that you can't replace.
 Homemaking tips:::
When you are overwhelmed, tackle ONE room at a time. I am preaching to myself... I get so overwhelmed by all the things I need to get done that I run around like a mad woman not getting anything done. I do much better when I focus on thoroughly cleaning one room and then moving on.

Looking around the house:::
I see a mess. A mess of toys and clothes. It is a beautiful mess, because it is a reminder of the wonderful memories we made the last two weeks.

From the camera:::

Bible verse, Devotional:::  
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Proverbs 31:10, 27-28

Monday, April 28, 2014

Happy Homemaker Monday #2

Today is the last day I have before we leave for our 11 day beach vacation! It's going to be a busy day!

As I look outside my window:::
The sky is cloudy, as we are expecting some rain tonight. It is beautiful with the pink hue of the sun coming up. Such a beautiful reminder of God's creation.

Right now I am:::
About to bake some cornbread. It is going to get hot this afternoon and I don't want to turn my oven on in the heat of the day. The boys are still sleeping, and I wanted to get my blogging and cooking done before they are under my feet. 

Thinking and pondering:::
All the things that I need to be getting done today. We have to pack for a long trip, and I'm cooking for Monday for the Master tonight. I also have to get my bathrooms cleaned, I really don't like coming home to a dirty house from vacation. I've got a long to-do list today to get the house in decent order before we leave. 

On my bedside table:::
I just finished reading the first four books in the "Love comes softly" series by Jeanette Oke. I'm looking forward to the next few books on my vacation!
Listening to:::
The quietness of the house. The fish tank's water is making a beautiful waterfall sound.

On the menu for this week:::
Beans and cornbread tonight, then the rest of this week we will be in a condo in Gulf Shores. I'm looking forward to all the yummy food!
On my to do list:::
Too much to list for today..
Happening this week:::
We are beach bound early in the morning! I can't wait!!

What I am sewing, crocheting, knitting or creating:::
Nothing this week. Working on creating memories.

My simple pleasure:::
This week will be the sound of the waves and the sand between my toes.
 Homemaking tips:::
Deep clean your bathrooms once a week. Wipe down the counters at least every other day. But do a good scrub down at least once a week. Trust me, it's worth it.

Looking around the house:::

Is reminding me that I have A LOT to do today.
From the camera:::
This was taken on my Daddy's phone. That is me holding the most beautiful nephew in the universe right there. He was just born about an hour and a half before this picture. I love this baby boy so much. I would go grab him the moon and bring it down to him if I could reach it. He is such a joy. I love him! Does anyone else feel this way about their niece/nephew??

Bible verse, Devotional:::  
  This week I want to focus on Proverbs 31. I've gotten a little sidetracked in my housekeeping this past week and I need some encouragement. I know that a vacation from it will bring a wonderful and new perspective, but I want to focus on how God would have me glorify Him in my home.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Happy Homemaker Monday

I've been wanting to join in on this Happy Homemaker Monday's for awhile. I follow a blog and ran across a couple of homemaking blogs that do a blog hop with Happy Homemaker Monday.
I don't plan on joining the blog hop, but just hope to get down my Homemaking thoughts on Monday.
I thought it would be fun, and neat to look back later on.
Here's to new traditions! :)

As I look outside my window:::
The weather outside is absolutely beautiful. It is 2:30 in the afternoon. The sun is shining, the grass is green, and it is beautiful outside. I enjoyed playing outside this morning before lunch with the boys.
Right now I am::: 
Drinking my second cup of coffee. I forgot to make coffee this morning (I'm not sure what that was all about). So I brewed me a pot with my lunch, and I'm enjoying my coffee and the peace and quiet. Both boys are napping and I am enjoying the quiet. Robert's had a hard day today and this Mama needed some quiet rest time.

Thinking and pondering:::

Babies. My cousin just had a new baby boy early Sunday morning and my sister-in-law is due any day now with a new baby. Holding that sweet baby boy yesterday made me miss my babies being tiny. I'm starting to get the baby fever...

On my bedside table:::

My planner. I try to get my to-do list together on Sundays before the week starts. It helps me to write down my goals for the week so that they are fresh on my mind. This week is going to be a busy one. We have a 1st birthday party coming up as soon as we get back from our 10-day vacation. We leave next week and I've got LOTS to do before then!

On my tv tonight:::
We have a small tv in the living room. We use it to view movies. The movie in now I believe is "Chuggington." Robert loves it. We just don't watch many movies. We usually only watch tv for family movie night.
Listening to:::
The window unit air conditioning.

On the menu for this week:::
Chicken and rice, dried pinto beans (bean burritos), dried black beans and rice, chicken and quinoa mac and cheese. We're trying to eat up what is in the fridge, pantry and freezer before our trip. I want to get out fridge deep cleaned before we leave.
On my to do list:::
Switching out all Paul's 9 month clothes for his 12 months clothes.
Birthday party invitations
Deep clean living room carpets
Deep clean fridge
Work on packing list
Finalize grocery list for our beach trip
Get tag renewal for van (My birthday will be while we are on our trip and I need it)

Happening this week:::

  MFTM tonight and Mama's birthday is Saturday.

What I am sewing, crocheting, knitting or creating:::
I just finished my very first apron! I love it. I don't plan on crafting anything this week. I need to get caught up on Project life. I'm ordering my pictures tomorrow, and will probably have to work on it after our vacation!
My simple pleasure:::
Coffee. And lots of it.

 Homemaking tips:::

One load of laundry a day. Wash, dry, fold, put away. It never fails that if I go one day without doing a complete load, I get behind. Then Mt. Everest of laundry attacks my bedroom and I get overwhelmed... leaving it to only get worse...

Looking around the house:::

I need to clean up from lunch. I had to get the boys to lay down right after lunch. Robert will only sleep if I lie down with him. So, I left our PB&J mess on the table. There are also toys scattered along the living room floor that need to be returned to their proper home.
From the camera:::

This is from our Saturday ladies breakfast a few weeks ago. I had a great breakfast with some fabulous ladies!
Bible verse, Devotional:::  
  "Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”  ESV -1 Corinthians 15:33
This verse will be my focus this week. It is Robert's memory verse for Bible class. I was so proud when he said his memory verse last week. I look forward to hearing him quote many Bible passages.

Hope you have a great week! 

Easter and a few more.